All the feels

Can I let you in on a little secret? Just between us friends? Sometimes I want my old life back. You know, the one where I had little responsibility, didn’t have to battle piles and piles of pet fur, and could just sleep in however late I wanted to? But then I look at that face. That ridiculously adorable face with those wrinkly brows and I think, “Even if you flunk out of the Paws program, I will never, ever give you up.” 

Somewhere around week 3, G stopped being a houseguest and simply took hold of my heart. I finally get what all the hoopla is that dog people go on and on about. There is something to be said about how rock-solid dogs are when it comes to their affection. It feels like G totally sees me for who I am and, yet, somehow still wants to be around me. Whaaat?!! Can this really be?

I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love my family, and they love me. But people are so impacted by their moods and by external circumstances that might have nothing to do with you. I love that G is just so…uncomplicated. He doesn’t care how grouchy I might get if I’m having a bad day. Or mock me because my roots are showing. He doesn’t take anything in the wrong way or hold any grudges. And if he’s judging me over something stupid I just did, well… he’s awfully good at hiding it. He’s just a goofy bundle of good vibes wrapped up in a soft furry package. Just like his stuffed unicorn. And it’s just so nice to have that in your life. 

I was texting last week with my good friend, Christina, who was asking how things were going. And while I told her that it was getting better every single day, I admitted that it was so much more work than I ever imagined. She replied that she remembered wondering to herself when she first got her puppy, Ace, “Why did I create all this extra work and upheaval?” Yes! Why indeed was the question I was asking myself! And then she said, “But then it all becomes normal, and you can’t even remember why it seemed like a big deal.” Hmmm.

Since G arrived, I’ve had a couple of down days during the first 2 ½ weeks where I was seriously asking myself, “What the hell did I get myself into? Do I even want to do this?” There weren’t many of those days, but the feelings were rather intense. I hate admitting this because I’m not the kind of person who gives up easily or expects everything to come easy. But I think it’s important for anyone undergoing this experience to know that the beginning—especially if you’ve never had a dog before—can be really challenging. I want you to know that it’s okay to not love having to make all these adjustments in your life. And that even though you’ve been given this amazing opportunity, it’s okay to wonder if it was the right decision for you. 

BUT don’t give up just yet!  Once you figure out a routine that works for you, it really does get easier with each passing day. For me, all those super negative feelings have just completely evaporated. Yes, I have more responsibility now. And yes, I am dealing with an insurmountable heap of pet fur. (That. Never. Goes. Away.) And no, I can’t just sleep in as late as I want to anymore. But what I do have now is unconditional love coming at me in giant slobbery waves. And that is pretty awesome.